I have 2 dogs. Correction, I have 2 dogs, 2 cats, and The Chicken. This isn’t any ordinary chicken, it’s The Chicken. My wife, Harmony, and I had different ideas of how to live our lives while we were in the younger years of the relationship. I wanted to live in a big city, drive an exotic sports car, and only wear suits that cost more than most people make a month. She on the other hand wanted a chicken.
More specifically she wanted a farm. Goats, horses, chickens, and the whole works. There was a reckoning about 2 years after we started dating. I came over to her mom’s house where her brothers lived and had goats they showed in the 4H fair. I could see her blonde hair from down the road inside the goat pin, I assumed she was feeding them. I was wrong. She was in the middle of a very intense game of King of The Hill. For some reason at that moment I realized I loved her. It took watching her play with farm animals to understand that. No. It took seeing her be truly happy to understand that.
So that was it I knew what I had to do. Make her happy the rest of her life. Oh trust me it wasn’t for her, it’s a very selfish thing. Seeing her smile so hard her eyes squint. That’s what makes me happy. Now that’s it. We need some goats.
Fast forward 11 years and we purchase the home we’re in now. It’s a real fixer upper. That’s putting it nice. A 3,800 sq-ft 3 story monstrosity that was affixed to the face of this world in 1906. Have you ever meet a dog owner who’s furry friend is so ugly all you can say is, awww. how cute? Well this house is very cute we’ll say. It doesn’t come with much of a yard to house any real farm animals, but she also likes cats. So cats it is.
That’s the beginning. I had 1 rule. Never have more pets than adults who live in the house to take care of them. So we had a cat. The rule didn’t work in my favor. 2 adults 1 cat. We took a trip to pet refuge. She picks out the saddest, most pitiful looking dog in the world. Elliot, aka moose, is a half basset hound half black lab handful. His belly hangs only 4 inches from the floor due to his incredibly short legs and his ears aren’t much higher up. He’s a goofy looking thing and at 80 lbs the largest lap dog I’ve ever seen. So now we’re at 2 for 2, but we’re not done.
After the cat passed away my wife longed for another feline companion. I looked and looked for a fluffy gray cat. Something sweet that would just lounge around. I looked for a while for the perfect pet. Then the phone call. Honey? When are you coming home? I got something for you for your birthday. My birthday was just around the corner and I knew she was up to something. I get home to find a bulldog named Titus with a big blue bow on his head. I’ve always wanted a bulldog. He was cute, but now we’er in a predicament. She still wants a cat and we’re at our magic 2 for 2 count, but she’s not happy. I knew what I had to do.
I found a young lady who had a black kitten. She found her on the side of the road in a box, but couldn’t keep her. Allergic. The only catch. She also found the kittens brother. Take it or leave it. I took it. When I brought the kittens home for her just a few days shy of Christmas I saw that smile again, this time on both her and our daughters face. Dad/Husband of the year award was won on that night.
So now we find ourselves at a 4 for 2, I’ve doubled my problem. Then The Chicken.
My wife’s uncle moved in down the road from us. He bought a small farm with cows and chickens and we help him take care of them and the garden. It allows us to have farm fresh produce without having a big yard. It works for both households, gives my wife the farm living feeling, and saves our grocery bill. Win Win. Once the weather turned cold her uncle was butchering the chickens and wasn’t sure if he wanted to have chickens anymore. On one fateful night, a cold windy night, I believe it was a full moon. Ok ok ok that’s not all truthful, I have no real memory of the night, but it was night. While helping her uncle Harmony heard a noise. It sounded like a baby chicken. She opened the pen and there it was. A little fuzzy chick. No other chickens around. They were all sent off to butcher earlier that day. I guess there was 1 egg missed. The 1 egg that housed the only chicken born on this farm. It was meant to be. I would swear the chickens first peep was “peep…take me home…peep”. She listened. The Chicken, her name is nugget, makes Harmony happy.
The rule of 1 animal per adult human wasn’t as firm of a rule as I thought. The Chicken was for selfish reasons. I don’t like chickens, unless they’re smothered in BBQ sauce. What I do like is to see Harmony smile. Smile so big her eyes squint.